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Considerations for a Good Marriageby Kathleen Dryden It’s been said that the best recipe for a sought after and delicious cake is one where a baker combines accurately measured predetermined volumes of several different high-quality ingredients to produce one item, then bakes that item at the correct temperature and specified amount of time, and finally, decorates it with loving care. The final product of the well put-together and cared for ingredients is not only good to look at, it is easy to swallow and digest, and satisfies a basic human need-nutrition. It gets enough good reviews to be a blue-ribbon winner, and those closely associated with it usually hang around for more. One could associate this same method for creating a blue-ribbon winning cake to the procedure needed to build a good marriage. When a man and woman carefully combine two high-quality ingredients, and properly balance these ingredients between them, they become the one item that is necessary to build a good marriage.
The two high-quality ingredients are passion and compassion. Passion is made up of any one of Many components including suffering\agony, the emotions of hate, grief, love, fear, joy, enthusiasm, fondness, strong love, affection, sexual desire, and lust. Compassion is about suffering with another; showing sympathy, and sorrow for distress or the misfortunes of others; the desire to help; pity, kindness, tenderness\affection, and clemency-mercy or forgiveness.
The one item that becomes the final product of passion and compassion is unconditional love. But, If the two ingredients of passion and compassion are unbalanced-left un-attended or neglected, abandoned, deserted-by either or both partners in the marriage relationship, everyone, including any children, will suffer. However, if they are balanced, each partner working to give equally to balance them, both will be satisfied and more able to overcome the obstacles that life and marriage bring and they do bring obstacles. That is a given.
But, when both partners are equally passionate about compassion, they will be able to forgive and forget the others’ shortcomings. When both are passionate about compassion they will be able to minimize anger and rudeness, and replace them with patience, kindness, and protection for each other. Being passionate about compassion destroys jealousy and envy, and replaces them with trust, hope, and perseverance. Being passionate about compassion makes humility possible, and humility enables us to put our partner’s needs before our own, and when both partners are doing this, both will stay satisfied and both will feel loved.
When both partners feel loved and fulfilled in the relationship, the marriage will become the product of two well-balanced, high-quality ingredients that is good to look at. For the children and all those watching, it will be the example to emulate. It will be deliciously romantic in every category-and that’s very important-and it will satisfy the needs of both partners so that one doesn’t feel neglected and want to split the marriage partnership.
However, one very important thing to remember is that there will be times in life when one partner cannot function. At that time it will be the responsibility of the functioning partner to provide all the passion and compassion necessary for not only holding the marriage together, but also for helping bring the non-functioning partner back to active life. The functioning partner may be required to exhaust all avenues of restoration and for reasons they may never understand. That is unconditional love-love that never fails.
Just as God through Jesus Christ was and is compassionate toward us in that He forgives all our sin when we ask Him, love that never fails is when each partner is passionate about being compassionate towards the other.
May you find the courage you will need to implement into your marriage the passion which enables the compassion that builds a foundation of genuine love for not only each other and your children, but also for your Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ.
Kathleen Dryden, CEI\CWS
Weddings ProPassione
Jackson, Wyoming
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